Life and Business Lessons #9

- By Jeanne Doheny (about the author)

I have a Hug License. I tell you this so you have fair warning should we have a planned, or even a chance encounter. This license was issued only after considerable and sensitive training, does not require a "fee" and has no monetary value. It is a perpetual license that can only be cancelled by me (the hugger) based on non-use. What a deal!

There are people who hug others often and consider it an act of friendship and a greeting; sort of like saying, "Hello, how are you". In hugging training you learn about different types of hugs, different styles of hugs, different meanings, and hugs with males, females, and children. Yes, you can hug a stuffed animal, your pillow, or a warm blanket (especially in Minnesota in the winter), but you do not need a license to do that. The hug license takes hugging to a whole different level. Let me try to explain.

Men don't readily initiate hugs. I guess it's not the macho thing to do. As an illustration, I sponsored a Rotary program on hugging, delivered by a licensed hugger and instructor. Now, if you are not familiar with Rotary, some people believe it is a service organization comprised of mostly "mature" and somewhat stodgy principals of the male human specie. This was primarily the case at the time of the hugging program.

The instructor talked about how it is acceptable for men and women to hug, how it is common for women to hug women, how both men and women are receptive and often eager to hug children and babies, and it is equally acceptable for both men and women to hug pets and inanimate objects like the aforementioned stuffed animals or bedding. (For our purpose, we will forego, entirely, any discussion of animals and bedding). The discussion centered around how to physically deliver a hug. Where do you place your hands? How long should the hug be? Why do you even want to hug this individual? Do you hug another woman differently than you do a man? Do men really hug other men? How do they do that? Why would they do that?

I can tell you that when it's January in Minnesota, hugs are good. We, Midwesterners, tend to be quite practical, if not boring, and a hug allows you to share warmth, physical as well as emotional. That is good. In the Midwest, hugs are common, and yes, women hug women, often as a form of greeting and friendship. They also do it as a way to say, "Thank you", "It was good to see you" and as a parting gesture. That is also good. They share a hug with men for much the same reasons. It's interesting, though, that it is primarily women who initiate hugs.

Do men hug other men? I don't think they do this voluntarily. In the Rotary program, the instructor required each Rotarian to turn to, and hug, the person next to them. This made some people very uncomfortable. The Rotarians who assess "monetary fines" for such behavior are still collecting money for this program. Sometimes these guys seem to have really long memories.

A few words of advice: Guys, if you want to know how to deliver a "man hug", just check out "hugging" on the internet and you will find YouTube video that demonstrates this technique. Ladies, if you carry a placard offering "free hugs" you better look like Angelina Jolie or Cheryl Tiegs. Or guys, you better look like Brad Pitt or it ain't (sic) gonna happen.

Anyway, this article is simply a testament to the benefits of hugging. It's ok to hug others, be they men, women, or children. And, if you too, would like to be licensed to dispense this gesture of warmth and friendship, commonly referred to as a hug, just contact me.